Doubts
by xglittergigglesx
Summary: -"My body's to old to be a guardian." I tell her. "You're body's to young to look like this." She snapped and once again tears come into her eyes.- Rikku confronts a drunken Auron at a Bar in Luca. Mild Aurikku but not much.


**_Ok so there's tons of one shots where Rikku doesn't feel like she mature enough to be a guardian and Auron always comforts her. So I'm putting a twist on it. _**

**_Inspired by Fast Car sung by Tracy Chapman_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own FFX_**

Luca. The perfect place to escape your worries and sink yourself into a pit of alcohol induced numbness. We came here because Wakka and Tidus wanted to do something or other, most likely involving Blitzball, I wasn't really listening.

The bar is quiet and almost empty, apart from a few old men dribbling into there sake. I feel like I fit in.

I down the rest of my drink and motion to the bar tender for another and he complied. I felt like saying something cliche, like 'Just leave the bottle' but I restrained myself.

My body is weary. Being an unsent is hard work. Esspecially when your travelling with a Summoner who dances the dead away to the far plane. It tears apart my soul when she starts to dance. And I can't help but hate her for it. In this word where youth is everything is it not a given that I should feel old and useless?

They will be wondering where I am. We were ment to meet up at sunset and now it is well into the night. By my estimation I'd say it's in the early hours of the morning. The chances of them searching the city for me are high, but the chances of them finding me are low.

I barely register the door opening. I finish my drink once more and motion again for a refill but it's not forthcoming like before. I glance up at the bar tender, intending to scowl at him and tell him I haven't reached my limit so he can continue to serve me, but it appears that's not the reason my glass now only has the dregs of a clear liqud in it. He's staring at the person who just entered with the kind of rapped fasincation of someone praying at a temple.

I turn to observe the other men and see they all have the same expression. Please tell me a celebrity hasn't just entered the bar.

I finally look at the door.

It's worse than a celebrity.

Rikku.

I have no clue how she's found me and quite frankly I don't care. I simply wish she hadn't.

She doesn't seem to notice the looks she's getting of the men. But after all she is used to them. Rikku isn't the type of person you can ignore when she enters a room. Golden blonde hair that somehow manages to capture and reflect any light around her, large green eyes that sparkle no matter what her emotion is, a tan that gives her an almost unnatural glow, a lithe body that oozes sensuality and coyness from every pour without trying. She's the type of girl people follow on the street, not to attack or rob, but to give her gifts and ask her where she gets her hair done. I'm not exagurating. I've seen it happen.

She's the type of girl men fall in love with instantly, aslong as they aren't Al Bhed haters.

She spots me with a look of relief and hurries over in her usual fashion as if everything is on fast forward and everything is too precious for her to waste time on sauntering.

"So this is where you've been."

I'm suprised yet thankful she didn't just leap into a speech about how everyone has been worried about me.

"Correct."

"It's...homey." She manages to say before turning to the bar tender. "Apple cider, no ice please."

I can't help but chuckle as the bar tender trips over his feet trying to fill her order, blushing because he knows she caught him looking at her like a love sick school boy. I also can't help but notice my drink has yet to be refilled.

"Everyone's been searching for you for hours." She states.

"I needed time to think."

She mutters something that sounds remarkably like 'More like you needed time to drink yourself into a stuper' but I do not comment on it. Who am I to try and correct her when she's right?

"I need to get you back soon." She tells me, thanking the bar tender when he hands her, her drink and tells her it's on the house. She takes a slow sip from her glass and sighs.

"I understand."

"I don't think you do." She turns to me and for the first time I see the tears and anger in her eyes. "I don't think you understand anything about this whole situation." She looks away, wiping her eyes with the back of her wrist and taking another sip of her drink as the bar tender fills my glass again and she makes a disgusted noise.

"I'll tell everyone that I had Al Bhed haters on my trail and you helped me out. Then we had to rest and not draw attention to ourselves. It should save you _some_ face. As long as no one notices your drunk." She finished her drink quickly and motions for me to finish mine, standing up from her stool, getting ready to leave.

I stare at her in shock, hidden by my glasses and cowl. She'd purposely make herself seem helpless and weak to allow me to save face amongst the others?

"Why?"

I didn't even mean to murmer the word but did anyway. I finish my drink quickly and stand, stummbling a little. To my shame, Rikku, a slip of a girl around a foot smaller than me and atleast 100 pounds lights has to weave one arm under my arms and help me to the door after throwing enough gil to cover my drinks on the bar.

"They all respect you. Look upto you. It keeps every one else going." She grunts as she pushes the door open with her hip and we stumble into the cold night air. It's almost completely dark minus the moon light and the few oil lamps burning. "If they see you like I am right now, they'd break."

"And how do you see me Rikku?" I can't tell if my voice is slurred as I turn to face her. She stops and looks at me from the corner of her eyes.

"A drunken hypocritical idiot."

I chuckle. That's the one thing I like about Rikku most. She never sugar coats her words when they need to count.

"You tell us we can't mess around but who's the one that's wasted so badly they can barely walk?"

I sigh and my feet misjudge a step, causing me to lurch forward and causing Rikku to put her free hand on my chest to keep me up.

"My body's to old to be a guardian." I tell her, gazing into those hypnotic swirls that she calls eyes.

"You're body's to young to look like this." She snapped and once again tears come into her eyes. "For Yevons sake Auron! Look at you! You're eye's blood shot, your clothes are a mess and I'm sure you've not shaved for weeks."

"Rikku...do you ever think you don't fit in as a guardian? That you're unworthy of it?"

As soon as I say it, I realise she may take it the wrong way and think I'm questioning her abilities. Suprisingly, she doesn't.

"Never." She says simply and we continue walking. "I have nothing to prove to any one. Not Yuna, not Wakka, not Lulu, not Tidus, not even you. I know I got what it takes to be a Guardian and that's the main thing."

"How can you be so confident? You're only a child."

"Paddan du pinh dryh du vyta." She said simply.

"Excuse me? I don't speak Al Bhed."

"It's something my pops always says to me. Better to burn than to fade. If I don't go out and do something big and meaningful than when I die it'll be like I was never here." She shrugged.

I nod, my mind not fully wrapping around the idea due to my intoxication but I have a feeling that if I was sober enough to appreciate it, it would make me think hard.

"Auron, you gotta wake up and smell the chocobo shit." If she caught my suprised look at her choice of language she didn't give any indication. "Lifes crappy. But you gotta live it no matter what right?" She paused for a moment, shifting my weight on her one arm slightly. "The way I see it is if I start from zero I got nothing to loose. I think that if you start every day thinking of it as a new day then life won't be perfect. But at least it will be bearable right?"

I nod, thinking how odd it is that the youngest of Lady Yuna's Guardians is comforting and giving advice to the eldest.

"Thank you Rikku."

"For what?" She doesn't even look at me, simply straight ahead.

"For everything."

Now she does look at me and it's with an ironic smile, one that seems out of place on her child like face.

"I'm a Guardian Auron. Helping is what I do."

**_Please review!!_**


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